My Awakening: How I Came to This Work
It all began in 2022, while I was working at the spa inside the Coeur d’Alene Casino. I was doing six hours of massage a day, four days a week. It paid the bills, but I was exhausted—physically, emotionally, spiritually. I was quietly burning out.
I started asking myself: Is this really it? Is this the life I was promised in the fairytales of my childhood?
And where was Prince Charming, anyway? Wasn’t he supposed to ride in on a white horse and rescue me into a romantic life I could only dream of?
There I was—hands-on, mid-session—with a client whose calf muscle was locked tight and wouldn’t release no matter what I tried. In the back of my mind, in a quiet corner tucked away in the shadows, I knew exactly what was going on.
It wasn’t physical. It was emotional. No amount of manipulation was going to fix this.
Frustration rose up in me—not just at the muscle that wouldn’t release, but because this client was reflecting me back to myself. I asked, Why am I so frustrated? And then, as clear as if someone were whispering in my ear, I heard:
“Because you’re working on the surface. You’re meant to work with people’s souls, my dear.”
I laughed a little under my breath and said, “Then show me how to do that.”
That moment cracked something open inside me. I didn’t leap forward right away—it took time—but the seed had been planted. And when I reached a point of true desperation, that seed began to grow.
I remember it vividly: sitting on my couch in the middle of a cold, gray February, thinking, How do I keep living like this?
That thought scared me. I had never struggled with depression, but the fog had rolled in, and I couldn’t see the light. There was no sun. There was nothing but darkness.
And I knew—nothing grows without light.
So, I did what I do best: I started researching.
I came across a woman on Facebook looking for massage therapists to work at her retreats. That sparked some interest. Maybe I could work in a different way, in different places. So I reached out and asked what kind of retreats she was running.
She told me she was an Integrative Mind-Body Coach, combining somatic work, emotional processing, and mindset work to treat the whole person. Just hearing those words lit something inside me.
I joined her group coaching program. I dove in headfirst, learning everything I could—desperate to get out of the heaviness I was carrying. I even joined her marketing program because I wanted success. I wanted freedom. I wanted to feel worthy.
But it didn’t work. Not the way I hoped.
So I kept searching—determined to find the thing that would help me want to live again.
Then, I found it: an Intuitive Energy Healing program.
That changed everything.
I learned to ground my mind-body-energy system. I learned to listen to my Higher Guidance which I named my “Divine” team. And after that first year of deep work, I was shown—like a fast-forward film in meditation—the devastation my food addiction had created in my life. Yes. That was what was happening. And the truth landed with clarity:
“I am an addict.”
I knew instantly what I had to do: join a Twelve Step recovery program. My Guidance confirmed it loud and clear.
And let me tell you—I resisted. I went back reluctantly. Who wants to admit they have a problem, especially with food? Really?
But denial caught up with me. I found myself in bed after a binge, staring at the ceiling, sinking under the weight of it, and slowly dying.
“I’m not going out like this. This is not the legacy I’m leaving behind.”
That moment was my AWAKENING.
I found a sponsor. I began working the steps. And honestly? If it weren’t for my connection to my Divine team, I don’t know if I could’ve done it. But I trusted them. I had spent the last year building that relationship, and I knew I was being held and guided.
They whispered to me: “Keep working your steps. This is your foundation. This is the healing work you will one day bring to others.”
And so I did.
That death-and-rebirth moment became the catalyst for everything I now offer. My own awakening fuels the work I do with others.
Today, I help people quiet the outside noise so they can hear the voice of their own soul. I support them in reconnecting to their Divine wisdom, their inner truth, their Light—so they can awaken, rise, live fully, and create the legacy they’re meant to leave behind.
Jackie Hudiburg
Jackie is a Certified Intuitive Energy Healer, Reiki Master, Certified Integrative Mind-Body Coach, and Licensed Massage Therapist. She has been practicing bodywork for over 25 years and became a Reiki Master in 2021.